There are 5 reasons why you shouldn’t have sex Before marriage.
I didn’t have sex till I married my wife. I was thirty two years old then.
I told her that I don’t want to have sex with her before marriage.
Though she was surprised to hear this from a man, that was my decision.
There are psychological effects of having sex before marriage.
In this article we are going to discuss those effects.
Read also: 7 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Get Married (With 5 Reasons For Marriage)
Let’s go on now.
5 Reasons Why Shouldn’t Have Sex Before Marriage
Here are reasons why you shouldn’t have sex with your lover before marriage:
1. You will think that you love your partner:
Having sex with your boyfriend or girlfriend before marriage is going to make you think that you love him/her.
Sex before marriage will make you think with emotions because of the sexual connections.
What you are feeling is not love, it is infatuation or lust.
Sex before marriage only gives you a fake connection between you and your boyfriend/girlfriend.
2. It will make you overlook your partner’s bad attitude:
Because of the fake connection sex before marriage gives, you will find it difficult to see the bad side of your partner.
This is the major reason why many people got married to the wrong person.
Most couples that are having problems in their marriages saw those problems when they were still dating.
But the sex they were having made them think that they can cope with their partner’s bad attitude.
When they eventually get married their eyes will open and they will start seeing those faults they have overlooked during their dating days.
3. You may get infected with diseases: Having casual sex with your boyfriend/girlfriend is not healthy.
This is because most people don’t know the sexual health of the person they are dating.
Your boyfriend/girlfriend may be sleeping with another person whom you don’t know.
Having this kind of sex is very risky.
4. You may get pregnant:
The girl or the woman may get pregnant during this time.
If you get pregnant your boyfriend may deny the pregnancy and leave you to bear the consequences and the pains alone.
Some guys do this when they are not ready for marriage or when they are not financially ready to take care of a baby.
5. The memories and the heart breaks:
If you don’t marry the person you are having sex with, the memories of what you did with him/her is going to hurt you forever.
This will make you start comparing the sex you had with your ex with the one you are having with your spouse.
And you may never be satisfied with your spouse.
Old memories of the sex you had with your ex will break your heart whenever you remember those experiences.
Your heart will be full of regrets.
How To Avoid Sex When Dating
It is very possible to date without having sex. It requires a lot of hardwork and discipline.
Here are how to avoid sex during dating:
• Always see your partner in an open place: Don’t see your boyfriend/girlfriend behind closed doors.
• Avoid deep kisses: Kissing your partner for a long time is going to make you want to have sex with them.
You can kiss them lightly on the forehead or lips but not deep.
• Set boundaries: I told one of my girlfriends when I was still dating that we shouldn’t involve sex in the relationship.
She agreed but we do renew our promise to each other not to have sex in the relationship every six months. This was so helpful.
• You can talk about your sexual feelings and desires: You can stay in an open place and discuss with your partner about sex.
This will help you to reduce sexual tensions.
• Don’t watch porn: Pornography is going to increase your sexual tension and make you want to have sex at the wrong time with the wrong person.
Your boyfriend/girlfriend is the wrong person to have sex with. And the wrong time to have sex is when you are dating.
How To Heal From The Pains And The Heart Breaks Of The Sex You Had With Your Exes
• Talk to a sex therapist: Meet any certified sex therapist and tell him/her about your past sexual experiences.
He or she will place you on therapy to help you overcome any hurt you may be having.
• Do mirror therapy: I love mirror therapy.
Get a standing mirror or any other mirror and keep it in your room.
Every morning look at yourself in the mirror and say; “I am great without my past”.
Do this for twenty one days, you will start seeing positive results.
• Don’t tell your spouse about your sexual past experience:
Some people normally tell their spouse about their previous sex experience thinking that their partner will help them to heal.
The disadvantage of this is that your spouse will use it against you in the future when he/she gets angry.
Or if you have any sexually related disease in the future he/she will start blaming you for your past life thereby hurting you more.
• Stop talking with your exes:
If you really want to heal from the experience of your past sexual relationship with your exes, don’t keep them in contact.
Delete all their contacts from your phone or diary.
Unfriend them on every social media platforms, this is for your mental health.
• Forgive yourself: Your past experiences don’t mean you are a bad person.
It doesn’t mean you should punish yourself or think that you have no value.
You are still very normal and great. Dust yourself and move on with your life.
Conclusion
Sex is safer and sweet in marriage. Don’t let anyone deceive you.
You will enjoy sex when you get married.
That your boyfriend/girlfriend that you are having sex with may not love you.
He/she may only love the sex they are having with you.
And they will leave you when they are done. Love is not measured with sex.