7 mistakes New couples make in their marriage is something you should not neglect.
My wife and I had many challenges when we were newly married.
I could remember how she ran away from our home for two days. And she told me that she wants a divorce.
It was so embarrassing for me because we knew each other for eight months before we decided to get married.
In this article, I am going to share with you 7 mistakes new couples make in their union.
Read also: How To Identify A Cheating Partner (The Proven Strategy)
Let’s go on.
Living together may be difficult for new couples because they are still learning about marriage, and also trying to understand each other.
New couples are likely to make mistakes that may cause great problems in their marriage.
7 Mistakes New Couples Make In Their Marriage
1. Living with your parents: It is very wrong to live in the same apartment with your parents as a new couple.
This is because the two of you won’t have the freedom to express yourself the way you want.
You can find an apartment and live away from your parents.
The apartment mustn’t be big or luxurious. Just a place that will be comfortable for both of you.
This is because the early stage of marriage is very important.
This is the only time both of you have to bond and make plans on how you want your family to be.
There should be no distractions from any family members.
2. Not having frequent sex: You may not have kids at an early stage, and this will give both of you the opportunity to have sex anywhere in your apartment.
Both of you should explore different sex positions without any distraction.
Kids come with more responsibilities and two of you may not have the time again to have great sex.
Your attention will be divided between the kids and your partner.
If both of you have kids now you can give them their own room, so that you can have an amazing time with your partner.
3. Not having a financial plan: Money is very important in marriage. A wise man said, “No money no romance”.
Money doesn’t buy happiness but money can make both of you happy.
You have to pay bills and take care of your future kids and partner, and your family members.
Talk with your partner about investments and having multiple sources of income.
It is not wise to have only one source of income. Depending only on your job is not a good idea.
We have the internet today, both of you can start an online business or any other business of your choice on the side.
Marriage carries a lot of financial responsibilities which no one might have told you.
It is expensive to stay married in this present time. Don’t be deceived.
4. Having kids early in the marriage: This is your choice anyway, you can choose to start having kids immediately with your partner or wait for a while before having kids.
It all depends on you and your partner.
But it is better to wait a while, like a year.
Don’t let it pass one year unless you are dealing with infertility.
Having kids immediately may not give you enough time to bond with your partner.
When kids start coming, your focus will shift to them.
Remember that the main reason for marriage is companionship and not to bear children. Companionship first before kids.
Read also: Best Conversation Strategies For Couples
5. Not going on dates: When you were dating, going on dates was a regular thing.
But immediately after marriage, some couples seem to lose interest in going out.
This is going to make your marriage boring. Plan for a date at least once a month.
6. Forget about your exes: You may have ended things amicably with your exes.
They shouldn’t be part of your life again.
If you allow your exes to be close to you, the old feelings you had together in the past might be rekindled and that may end your marriage.
Involving your exes in your life or marriage is very dangerous.
7. Not having a role model/counsellor:
As a new couple you must have a role model, that is another successful couple that both of you are looking up to.
This is going to help you build a strong and successful marriage.
There is a need for a marriage counsellor. This doesn’t necessarily mean you should go and hire a professional marriage counsellor.
It may be your pastor at the church if you are christians or another neutral third party who is knowledgeable or experienced in marriage.
This counsellor is important because he/she is going to help both of you to resolve any issue that may come up in the future.
Don’t pretend as if there will be no issue in the future. We are all human and we are not perfect, likewise both of you.
Read also: 4 Things You Should Never Tell Your Husband (Easiest Way To Manipulate Him)
Is It Possible To Stay Married Without Divorce?
Yes, it is very possible to stay married for a very long time without getting divorce.
To achieve this, you need to put effort into your marriage. And there are few this to do to achieve this:
1. Settle any misunderstanding quickly: Don’t hold grudges for a long time.
No misunderstanding should last more than 48 hours.
Settle the problem and reconcile with each other as soon as possible.
2. Don’t deny each other sex: Some people use sex to punish their spouse. This is very wrong.
You are pushing them out to start cheating on you by refusing to have sex with them.
In marriage, your partner owns your body and you own theirs too.
Never use sex as a weapon to punish your partner.
3. Don’t put anyone before your partner: Let your partner be your first priority.
Nobody else should come between the two of you. Don’t give anyone that space.
4. Stay together: Some couples may stay apart for some reasons like for work or business.
But don’t let it be for long. Find a way to stay together and live with your spouse.
Remember that marriage is all about bonding together and you can’t achieve that by staying away from each other for a very long time.
5. Build friendship: Your partner should be your best friend.
If you have any challenges your partner should be the first person to know about it.
Find comfort in each other’s arms.
My wife and I are very happy in our marriage. We have learnt a lot and grew together.
She has forgotten that she once ran away from home.
Read also: How To Prepare For Your Wedding Anniversary With Little Budget (8 Easy Ways)
Conclusion
Marriage is not easy, But doesn’t mean you should be afraid.
Embrace your marriage with joy. Marriage is a beautiful thing, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.