Do you want to know what hurts the most about divorce? Breaking of the bond between the couple hurt the most after divorce.
My high school teacher Mr. Joni told me about life after divorcing his wife many years ago.
He said that he loved his ex wife so much that he considered marrying her again.
The bond between Mr. Joni and his wife are so strong, and this is the reason why he is still feeling the pain seven years after the divorce.
In this article, I will share with you more insights about divorce.
Read also: What Breaks Most Marriages (The Real Truth)
Let’s go on now.
Why Life Is Better After Divorce
Here are the reasons why life is better after divorce:
1. Career achievements
Those who have to put their careers on the back burner during their marriage can recover or invest in a new activity after the end of the relationship.
2. Financial independence
The need to keep bills up to date without someone to supplement or respond to the household budget, has its burden.
But it comes with the bonus of also meaning greater personal fulfillment, due to the financial “emancipation” that comes along with so many changes.
3. High self-esteem and self-confidence
One of the necessary first steps to moving forward after divorce is developing confidence in yourself.
This translates into empowerment, both personally and professionally.
4. Dream rescue
This is one of the main positive situations when the focus is exclusively on you.
Forgotten dreams, ranging from learning an instrument or a language to traveling alone, come out of the drawer.
5. Last minute decisions
No one will be waiting for you at home or counting on your availability for something. Your time is free to do as you want.
6. Freedom to come and go
You have greater freedom to do as you wish at your own pace without anyone pressuring you.
What Is Silent Divorce
Silent divorce is a type of separation in which the husband and wife continue to live together under the same roof, but there is no longer love or affection between them.
Here are the causes of silent divorce
1- Undesirable moral qualities in couples
2- Domestic violence
3- Interference from close people
4- Lack of privacy
5- Unemployment or job loss
6- Lack of verbal and non-verbal communication skills
7- Not recognizing or meeting the emotional needs of your partner
8- Forced marriage imposed on one of the spouses or both
9- Cultural differences between the families of the couple
10- Differences in the personality and moods of the couple
11- Emotional marriages without sufficient knowledge between the spouses
Signs of silent divorce
1. Decrease or absence of affective relationships between the couple
2. Too much complain
3. Not spending time with your spouse and spending more time away from home
4. Focusing emotionally on the children and loving the children more than the spouse
5. Dislike and lack of interest in the way of thinking about your partner
6. Mistrust between the spouse
7. Reduced dependency on each other
8. Revealing marital secrets and problems outside the home
9. Brag about mistakes, small problems and criticize each other
10.Addressing past problems instead of thinking about the solutions.
11.Significant reduction of passion and emotion in life together and not making an effort to be happy with with your life partner
What Divorce Does To A Woman emotionally
Here are what divorce does to a woman emotionally:
1. Loneliness: After divorce many women feel lonely because their spouse is no longer with them.
2. Guilt: Women normally feel guilty about the separation. This happens when their partner accuses them wrongly.
3. Anger: They will be angry unnecessarily. Nagging is also part of this.
4. Sadness: The woman will be sad especially if she invested more in the marriage.
5. Fear: She will be afraid to marry again or be in a relationship with another person.
6. Depression: The woman will be depressed due to the pain and loneliness that comes with divorce.
This would happen if the woman wasn’t the one who made the decision to separate.
They may also have to deal with the social pressure and stigmatization associated with divorce, especially in cultures where divorce is considered a failure or a source of shame.
Divorce also has a negative impact on women’s physical and mental health.
Studies show that women who get divorced are more likely to suffer from depression, anxiety and other mental health issues.
The stress and anxiety associated with divorce may lead to physical health issues such as heart disease, digestive issues, and sleep problems.
How To Survive Divorce As A Woman
Here are how to survive divorce as a woman:
1 – Get out of this phase better and not bitter
Make a commitment to your personal growth. Take time for reflection and rediscovery.
Reflect on the best of you and what you would like to do from now on.
Analyse everything you’ve experienced so that this divorce is your last and the next relationships flow lightly.
2 – Don’t face this phase alone
Choosing a team of professionals (psychologist and family lawyer) to guide you throughout the process is a basic precept for surviving a divorce.
In addition, trusted confidants, such as family members and friends, are essential to support you at this time.
This team will be your safe haven during this painful phase. They will help you make better choices and stay sane.
3 – Keep the focus on you
In the process of learning and growing, you need to be aware of where your feelings and actions were effective, ineffective, or even harmful.
Start using what works for you, always focusing on your well-being.
4 – Pay attention to the current moment
No getting stuck in the past, thinking about what I could have done or not done.
Likewise, you don’t need to project your future now. Everything has its due time and it is not possible to do everything at once.
Focus on resolving the divorce in the best way by making the right choices.
What Pushes A Woman To Divorce
Here are what pushes a woman to divorce;
1. Unfaithfulness
Whether it’s a one-night stand or a maintained double life, cheating is one of the reasons why women divorce.
2. Selfishness and lack of attention
When the husband is selfish and doesn’t care for his wife, she is likely going to divorce him.
3. Abusive behavior
Jealousy, verbal or physical violence, impulsiveness or harassment are harmful behaviors for women in the long term.
4. Disagreements over the future
Having common projects and looking in the same direction is a pillar of a successful marriage.
If there is disagreement, the wife may divorce her husband.
5. Incompatibility
Living on love and feelings alone is not always enough in daily life.
Whether it is the incompatibility of schedules or lifestyles of each, it is the source of many divorces.
6. work and money
If there are recurring topics in marital disputes, it is of course work and money for the family welfare and projects.
Knowing how to manage your finances and organize your professional schedule helps to prevent the risk of a break-up.
7. In-laws
The intrusive mother-in-law is not just a cliché. The weight of the in-laws can be heavy to bear by the woman.
And this is going to make her end the marriage
How Do You Know When Your Marriage Is Beyond Repair
Your marriage is beyond repair when there is domestic violence or threat to your life.
Human life is so precious. Nobody should take away your life, not even your spouse.
If your partner normally beat you or threatened to end your life, it means that the problem is beyond repair
It is not good to stay in an abusive marriage. Marriage should not be a burden or a death threat.
Marriage is made for two people who can help each to grow and overcome their weaknesses.
If your marriage is beyond repair it means that you are unhappy in the relationship.
Even if you don’t want to divorce, you can separate and live alone to see if things can work better again.
But before you end your marriage, make sure that you inform your family, a neutral third party or a marriage counsellor.
At least, one of these people should be aware. This is to help you make the right decision at the right time.
Trying to do things all alone is not Good, especially when you are emotionally drained.
How Do You Decide Your Marriage Is Over
Here are how you can decide that your marriage is over:
1. If you have repeated cheating/adultery
Even if one of the couples or each other repeatedly has an affair, the marital relationship is already broken.
If it’s just a one-time affair, there’s still a chance that you’ll be able to get back on track.
But in the case that you or your partner is cheating continuously, then the marriage is over.
If you still love your partner, it may be difficult to leave, but it is important to put a line on the relationship in the form of divorce and reconsider the need and existence of your partner.
2. If you have a violent argument every time you meet
No matter how much you try to stay calm, if you can’t avoid a violent argument when you meet face-to-face, it’s hard to repair the relationship as it is.
If you have children, they will be hurt by seeing both of you always fighting each other.
Above all, it is very sad for a child to have a bad relationship with their parents.
So if you can’t control your anger on your partner even in front of the children, try to distance yourself by living separately.
3. When you do not want to bend your will
If you or your partner don’t want to agree with each other on everything, the marriage is over.
What Are Red Flags In Dating A Divorced Man
Here are the red flags in dating a divorced man:
1. Not marrying again: He may not want to commit legally again, but he may be completely open to the idea of a more serious commitment or even living together.
2. He still wants his ex wife back: A man who completely avoids the topic or shows “significant discomfort” about talking about his ex wife may still be emotionally involved with her.
This shows that he has an unhealthy connection with his former marriage, which could be a problem in your future.
3. Depression: Divorce causes depression.
He may be depressed at some point in the relationship when he remembers his past experience with his ex wife.
4. He may be the problem for the divorce: His attitude may be the cause for the separation between him and his ex wife, and this may happen again in your relationship with him.
Conclusion
If you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, the idea of starting a new relationship may seem daunting.
If you’ve recently tried other activities that take you outside your comfort zone, you might be ready for the moment. Don’t be afraid to follow your decisions.