Do you want to know when your marriage is beyond repair? There are several ways to know that your marriage is beyond repair.
I have known Sandy for quite a long time. She was my brother’s closest friend for over ten years.
Sandy has been having a big problem with her husband. Their marriage seems not to be working.
For so many months she had felt anger and frustration over everything that had happened between them.
They fought over every little thing. He just didn’t get her at all, or didn’t even try.
He never wanted to work on their marriage or even spend time together. And their sex life was virtually nonexistent.
She had once loved him, but now he seemed like a different person.
At this moment she knew that her husband would not come into her life.
The word “divorce” was no longer scary for Sandy.
In this article, I will share with you how to know that your marriage is beyond repair.
Read also: How Do You Know When Your Marriage Is Beyond Repair (9 Real Signs)
Let’s go on now.
You know your marriage is beyond repair when you come to the following conclusions:
1. The Fight Is Over
If you or your partner don’t even try to fight for the marriage anymore, it’s likely it’s over.
If there’s even a chance there’s anything left to salvage, you or your partner will cry, yell, beg, or do something drastic to save it.
You could even file for divorce at this point as a last ditch effort to shock each other and turn things around – there’s still something to salvage if that’s the case.
But if there is more or less calm, patience, ignoring, not giving and looking forward to the end, then the end is probably in sight.
2. Less Fear Of The Future
If there is anything left of a relationship to salvage, then you or your partner will worry and fear the possibilities.
You will worry about the details of how things will be.
You care so completely and completely about the relationship that you worry about the hurdles you have to go through to make things better.
However, once the marriage is beyond repair, you probably don’t even care what the future holds; you just know it will be better than your current situation.
And you’re okay with that. And once the marriage is over, you’re willing to do just about anything to make it happen.
3. Physically Disconnected
If you’re not connected as a couple, it’s evident in your lack of touch.
You don’t have sex, you don’t hug, you don’t kiss – you don’t even sit together.
You probably even avoid brushing against each other. The passion is gone and it just feels uncomfortable.
If this happens, you may try to seek physical intimacy elsewhere, and if you don’t care about the outcome of your actions in a possible affair, then most likely the marriage has reached the point of no return.
Read also: How To Live With A Partner Who Doesn’t Love You (8 Things You Are Missing)
4. Things Have Not Changed
If partners are willing to change, the marriage is not beyond repair.
There are still things to try, new methods to approach, new ways of acting to improve the relationship.
There’s couples therapy, a couples retreat, date nights, lots of talk about everything, etc.
But if you’ve exhausted every option, tried everything you can think of and more, but things haven’t changed, then the marriage is beyond repair.
If it doesn’t work despite your best efforts, things will probably never change. You will know it’s time to move on.
5. Your Spouse Does Not Include You In His/Her Future
When we are newly married, we cannot imagine our life without our partner; in fact, we can imagine growing old together.
In every scenario of our future life, our partner is an integral part.
But if things in the relationship have broken down enough, then that picture of the future may have changed dramatically.
If your future hopes and dreams – such as going on a trip, seeing the grandchildren, doing fun things together – no longer include your spouse, then the marriage is beyond repair.
In your mind, you’re already imagining what life will be like without them, and that’s a good indication that your marriage may be beyond repair.
Signs Your Marriage Is Beyond Repair
Here are the signs that will show you that your marriage is beyond repair:
1. Spending a lot of time on the cell phone, even when sitting next to each other: Although both partners may not be doing anything serious, they won’t talk to each other.
2. Not showing more affection: This is one of spouse’s ways of communicating that he/she is tired of the marriage, and probably wants to end or work things out.
3. Not liking to spend a lot of time with each other: The spouses prefer to be alone or be around friends because their partners no longer bring them happiness.
4. Feeling sad and depressed: There will be no smile on the spouse’s face, even if the environment is bright and jovial.
5. Prioritize other people: The spouse puts other people first before their partner.
6. Telling Other People You’re Tired of Marriage: This goes against the belief that men don’t like to discuss their relationships with others.
Read also: Best Conversation Strategies For Couples
If your partner tells other people that he/she is tired of the marriage, it means that the marriage is not working again.
7. Mood swings: It is common to easily find sadness and discontent stamped on your face.
8. The spouses have different plans: They don’t align with each other, which usually happens when both partners no longer see a future with each other.
9. Seems Stressed: It is possible to notice that the relationship stresses both partners when they are together.
10. Avoid resolving conflicts: Whenever the spouses have a conflict with each other, they prefer to keep silent so as not to inflict more pain on themselves.
11. Doing everything alone: If the wife offers to help him, he will reject the request, saying that he will manage on his own, and vice versa.
12. No efforts to make each other happy: The spouses are trying to keep themselves busy so they have the perfect excuse not to make each other happy.
13. Does not share feelings and thoughts: When spouses are unhappy in their relationship, they will not inform each other about what is happening in their life.
14. Going a long time without saying “I love you”: The wife may have said this to him recently, but he does not reciprocate.
Or the husband may have said this to his wife and she doesn’t reciprocate.
15. Lack of intimacy: It is painful for the spouses to become intimate with each other because their minds are not in the here-and-now.
16. Neglect of physical appearance: All motivation to look good physically will disappear because the spouses don’t care like they used to.
17. Frequent criticism: They will complain or criticize everything any of them does.
Read also: How To make Your Partner Happy Again (The 10 Best Ways)
It is difficult for them to be satisfied because of unhappiness.
18. Stop making sacrifices: The spouse trying to sacrifice his/herself for each other will make the other person disinterested, as he/she sees no reason to stay in the marriage.
Conclusion
While it’s normal in marriage to have a lot of ups and downs, if you have more downs than ups, your marriage may be beyond repair.
An opportunity to change and grow together again will be hard, but it can be done if you’re both passionate and willing to save the marriage.
It’s only when things move past the stage of fighting, that separation is inevitable.