Do you want to know the 5 common mistakes new divorcees make?
I was sitting with a friend recently in Florida. She was divorced for over three months.
I told her to spend some time alone so she can heal properly from the heartbreak.
She started crying and told me that she can’t stay alone.
She gave me many reasons that made me pity her.
Life after divorce is not something you should be emotional about. You need to take things easy.
In this article, I will share with you what I told my newly divorced friend in Florida.
Read also: 10 Things To Do Immediately After Divorce (Fast Healing Tips)
You might be trying to figure out how to move forward with your life after divorce.
You should be careful at this time.
Because this is the time that most newly divorced people make serious mistakes.
And I don’t want you to make any of these mistakes.
You Should Avoid These Five Mistakes
1. Don’t rush: Healing is very important after divorce.
You need patience to be completely healed.
Don’t rush into another relationship or marriage.
You will definitely choose the wrong person if you don’t spend some time alone.
You will discover later that you never love the person you chose.
Stay single for at least 12 months.
2. Dating or marrying an inexperienced person: After divorce you don’t need to date or marry any available person.
Choose someone that has experience with dating and relationships.
He/she mustn’t necessarily have to be a divorcee too.
But make sure they have experience about relationships.
If you choose someone that has no experience, he/she is likely going to break your heart again in the future.
3. Don’t choose anyone out of pity: This is the problem that most newly divorced people have.
Don’t be emotional about choosing a partner. Be smart about any choice you make.
Don’t accept anyone that is promising you love and care, remember that actions are more valuable than words.
Anyone can promise you anything just to take advantage of you.
Don’t listen to any sweet words again. Validate whatever they are promising you through their actions and commitment.
Read also: How Is Real Estate Divided During A Divorce (The Easy Way Out)
4. Thinking that you’re not good enough: Have confidence in yourself.
If you are not confident just because you think that you are not good enough people will perceive that and they will use that as an opportunity to scam you.
You are so wonderful and great, don’t allow anyone to talk down on you.
Stay away from anyone that is focusing only on the negative side of life.
Dress well, keep your shoulders high and stop listening to people’s negative opinions.
5. Helping them financially: If you want to go into another relationship with anyone and they start demanding money from you, run away from them.
They will scam you. If they don’t scam you, they will only stay with you for financial benefits alone.
And I know that this is not what you want.
The bottom line is, don’t be in a haste after divorce. Take your time to make a good choice so that you won’t hurt again in the future.
How To Kill Loneliness After Divorce
Since you are not going to rush into any relationship or marriage immediately after divorce, you may start feeling lonely and depressed.
Just like my friend in Florida.
So let’s discuss how to kill loneliness as a newly divorced person.
1. Do what you love: If you love travelling to new places you can do that.
It doesn’t have to be far away from your home.
If you like sports you can play a lot of it or watch people playing it.
2. Go to cinema: It is better to go to the cinema to see some movies than staying at home and watching them on your computer or phone.
3. Go on a date alone: Dress up and go shopping at any mall in your city.
Go to amy restaurant and order your favourite meals and drinks.
4. Engage more with family members and friends: Don’t be an island. Try to be in touch with your family members.
Join them for dinner sometimes if you live close. Stroll around with friends and enjoy their company.
Read also: Does Divorce Affect Life Expectancy (Secrets Revealed By New Study)
5. Listen to sweet songs: Select your favourite songs and listen to them whenever you are less busy with work.
You can get wireless bluetooth to help you play the songs comfortably.
Songs have a way of refreshing our mind especially when we are passing through difficult times.
6. Color and paint your favourite images/drawing: Order for coloring books online and get busy coloring the images.
It helps to relieve stress, anxiety and depression. And it is a great way to relax your nerves after a hectic day.
7. Start a garden: If you love gardening this is the perfect time to start.
Planting crops like vegetables and flowers is going to help you stay motivated, busy and happy.
Any time you look at your garden flourishing, it will make you feel great and accomplished.
8. Start writing: Writing is another thing to start this time if that is what you love.
You can start your own blog and start sharing your experience with the world.
There is great joy in writing if you like it. Get a journal and start the journey now.
9. Stop focusing on the negative side of life: Being divorced is not the end of life.
You still have many dreams and goals to accomplish. Focus on them and be happy.
You will get discouraged and feel like you are not good enough if you focus only on the negative side of life.
10. Don’t live close to your ex husband/wife: Seeing them all the time will keep hurting you.
If you can afford to rent another apartment that is far away from your former partner,do that immediately.
This will hasten your healing.
Read also: What To Do If You Hate Your Husband But Can’t Leave (The Best Thing To Do)
Conclusion
Be patient and take good care of yourself. You will overcome this trauma soon.
It is not easy to go through divorce but you will be fine.
Stop blaming yourself for what happened. Try and forget about it and move on with your life.
You can still remarry, date and have a great relationship with an amazing lover who is also waiting for you patiently out there.
Till you meet that great lover that you desire, be confident and cheer up.