Do you want to know how divorce affects toddlers? Yes, divorce affects toddlers in many ways.
My neighbor Jeff and his wife divorced last year after six years of marriage.
His wife took their little toddler Jason, so that she can continue nurturing him.
Jason cries heavily every night. Jeff’s wife can’t even sleep well at night.
Little Jason is missing his dad badly, and that makes him cry all the time.
In this article, I will share with you how divorce affects toddlers.
Read also: How Do You Know Your Spouse Is Serious About Divorce (Real Signs)
Let’s go on now.
How divorce affects toddlers;
1. Restlessness: The toddler won’t be calm because he/she is missing the dad.
2. Instability: The toddler won’t be steady in his or her behavior. For instance, the toddler might sleep early today and sleep very late the next day.
3. Fear: The toddler will become afraid of losing the mom as well.
How Divorce Affects Families
Divorce can affect families in different ways which are:
1. Emotionally: Divorce can make the whole family members especially children to feel sad, anxious, discouraged and feeling rejected.
2. Financial difficulties: After division of assets there will be financial set back which is going to make life more difficult for the family.
3. Changes in living location: Changing to a different location is going to be stressful and difficult for everyone in the family.
It will take time before the family can find another apartment, and it will also take time for them to adapt to the new location.
4. Difficulties in co-parenting: If children are involved, taking care of them will be very challenging due to disagreement in child custody.
5. Social stigma: This stigma will make the family isolate themselves from the public which is very bad for their well being and the children’s upbringing.
There are many things you can do to make your family feel better.
The negative consequences of a divorce cannot always be prevented, but they can be mitigated.
When the family gets divorced, everyone reacts. Often in different ways and at different tempos.
Many families find that the children gradually get through the divorce and settle into the new situation.
Others find it more difficult, although they experience love, understanding and support.
How Divorce Affects Mental Health
One of the serious mental effects of divorce is lack of sleep. This is very dangerous because it is neglected by many.
Divorce can cause sleep problems for a variety of reasons.
Many people who are involved in a divorce are confronted with this. Sleeping problems can have a negative impact on the course of the settlement of the divorce.
Sleep problems can lead to the following for divorcees:
1. Physical complaints: Drowsiness, microsleep, changes in appetite, feeling cold or pain, increased risk of cardiovascular disease, obesity, type 2 diabetes, and cancer.
2. Cognitive complaints: Memory problems, difficulty concentrating, difficulty making decisions, problems in multitasking.
3. Emotional/Behavioral complaints: Increased stress, impulsiveness, taking more risks, mood swings, use of narcotics or stimulants
The cognitive and emotional complaints in particular can have direct negative consequences for the divorce process.
How to improve sleep after divorce:
1. Don’t take naps during the day. Only sleep at night or when you are very tired.
2. Provide a quiet and comfortable sleeping environment. Sleep in a quiet, dark, low-noise room. Do not leave any lights on in the bedroom.
3. Light up the room as soon as you get up in the morning. Lots of light in the morning helps our biological clock. Conversely, provide dimmed lighting in the evening before going to sleep.
4. Air the bedroom regularly and ensure a temperature of around 16 to 18°C. Preferably open a window at night for extra oxygen.
How Does Divorce Affect Children Long Term
During a divorce, almost all children go through a difficult period.
As a parent, it is therefore good to realize how intense a divorce is for children.
Research shows that the shorter the divorce, the greater the effects are for children.
So as time goes on, the negative impact on a child diminishes.
This means that the period around the divorce is the most intense for a child.
Long-term consequences are:
1. An increased chance of getting divorced.
2. A lower level of education.
3. Less income.
4. Less contact with the parents and more problems, such as depression and anxiety.
5. Low self esteem.
6. Failure in a romantic relationship.
How Does Divorce Affect Parent Child Relationships
74% of children stayed with their mother after divorce.
The rest went on to live with their father, grandparents or other guardians.
Researchers have found that a child is more likely to have an insecure relationship with their father if they move in with their mother after the divorce.
And, on the other hand, a secure parent-child relationship is more likely to happen if they move in together after separation. The same goes for mothers.
In most cases, children see their parents less often due to the divorce.
Research shows that reduced contact with one of the parents is an important effect of the divorce.
Children often miss their dad when they are with mom, and vice versa. They are used to having their parents both together and this is different now.
There is also a risk that children will no longer see one of the parents at all. This is very drastic for children and they can suffer a lot from this.
If there is a lot of conflict between the parents, children sometimes no longer want to see one of the parents (parental alienation).
This is very intense for the parent who no longer wants to see the child.
But this is also intense for the child. This problem often stems from loyalty issues.
Make sure you never blacken the other parent before the children and always be respectful to him or her.
This will help the children to have a good relationship with both parents.
Does Divorce Hurt The Child
Yes divorce hurts the child because of less contact with mom and dad.
The child will feel sad because of the situation. This can be avoided by making proper arrangements for the child to see his/her parents regularly.
The child will become inactive when the parents separate. He/she will not want to play with other kids.
The child will hardly smile because he/she is unhappy. And there is the possibility of running into depression.
This situation will make the child hate both parents, especially the parent who is not close.
The child will face a lot of difficulty while growing up because he/she lacks both parents’ love.
Showing love to children helps them to be better when they eventually become adults.
Does Divorce Affect Your Child
Yes, divorce affects your child. Conflict between parents is the greatest risk for children.
If a child experiences many conflicts between parents, it will be harmful to the child and often even traumatic.
Conflicts between parents are accompanied by a lot of tension and a feeling of insecurity for a child.
In the case of a confrontational divorce, these tensions and insecurity often last for a long period of time. The longer the period, the more intense it becomes for the child.
It is therefore very important that you as a parent do everything you can to build a good cooperation with your ex-partner.
That can be complicated because of your own emotions and everything that may have happened between you.
And yet that is the best thing you can do for your child.
Does Divorce Affect Babies
Yes, divorce affects babies. From 1 to 3 years, it is possible that babies become more withdrawn and have nightmares .
From 2 to 6 years, the baby still does not understand what a divorce is, but he/she is intrigued to see that dad and mom no longer sleep together and that one of them no longer comes home in the evening.
Another interesting thing that happens is that the baby can change his/her behavior to get the father to come home.
So, babies become obedient, thinking that this will solve the problem. It’s like the baby takes the blame for the breakup on him/herself.
It is also common for them to become aggressive and deny their parents’ separation.
Making up stories to justify it, like “Dad and Mom sleep together, yes, but this week Dad has a headache and has gone to sleep elsewhere.”
How Divorce Affects Children’s Future Relationships
According to a study by American researcher Judith Wallerstein, who followed children of divorced and non-divorced parents for 25 years.
Children of divorced parents had more difficulty staying in marriage, not to mention that they started a family prematurely, without a mature structure which resulted in separation .
In comparison, the group of children of non-divorced parents was more successful in love and affection relationships in general.
Other studies show that children and adolescents who have gone through a divorce process, tend to be antisocial and react aggressively to romantic relationships.
How Divorce Effects A Child
Divorce comes with many changes. A child’s daily life changes dramatically.
In the case of co-parenting, children get two places to live, they see their father or mother less often, and sometimes children move or have to change schools and childcare.
In addition, all emotions also play a role. Children are faced with tensions, sometimes with quarrels and their safe base is lost.
Children often feel abandoned or rejected. They would like their parents to get back together so that everything can go back to how it was. That is known and trusted.
The vast majority of children are less comfortable in their own skin for a period of time, as a result of which they are very sad or sometimes show negative behaviour.
Conclusion
It is good for parents to seek therapy for their child or children after divorce because the children are either “stuck” in the family’s divorce or they’re precisely affected by poor cooperation between the parents.
Some children can suddenly change their behavior and react or react again after a long divorce – in some after several years.
Even if the cooperation between the parents is good, therapy is still needed.