How Do Narcissists Act When Dating (10 Things Narcissists Do When Dating)

Although due to their personality people may think that people with a narcissistic personality cannot fall in love, this is completely wrong.

These people can fall in love just like anyone else, but their understanding of relationships and emotional needs differs slightly from that of non-narcissistic people.

Narcissists by nature have the goal of making their partner dependent on them, as this will increase their feelings of superiority.

They need to feel like they have their partner’s undivided attention, and if not, jealousy appears.

Jealousy in narcissists tends to be much more exaggerated than in other people and they act by threatening their partner to make them change their attitude if they want to continue with them.

In this article, I will share with you how narcissists act when dating.

Let’s go now!

1. Love-bombing: Initially, they shower their partner with excessive attention, compliments, and gifts to create an intense connection.

2. Self-centeredness: Narcissists often dominate conversations, focusing on themselves and their achievements while showing limited interest in their partner’s life.

3. Lack of empathy: Narcissists struggle to understand or care about their partner’s feelings or needs.

4. Manipulation: Narcissists are skilled manipulators, using guilt, gaslighting, or other tactics to control their partner.

5. Idealization and devaluation: Narcissists put their partner on a pedestal initially, then devalue and criticize them as the relationship progresses.

6. Grandiosity: Narcissists often exaggerate their accomplishments and importance to gain admiration.

7. Boundary violations: They disregard personal boundaries, invading their partner’s privacy or disregarding their wishes.

8. Jealousy and possessiveness: Narcissists become jealous easily and try to control their partner’s social interactions.

9. Lack of accountability: They often struggle to admit fault and blame their partner for relationship issues.

10. Discarding: In some cases, narcissists abruptly end the relationship without explanation or closure.

How Do You Know You Are Dating a Narcissist

Here’s how to know that you’re dating a narcissist:

1. Intensity: Narcissists seek an unrealistically perfect, movie-like romance due to their high ego.

2. Search for Perfection: They try to make their relationship appear perfect to others, not because they want their partner to love them more, but to show off to society.

3. Need for Praise: Narcissists crave excessive admiration from their partner, and they’ll do whatever it takes to receive praise for their actions and behavior.

4. Show Off: They want their partner to be physically attractive to show them off like a prize or trophy.

5. Jealousy: Narcissists are naturally jealous because they need constant attention.

They can’t handle their partner giving attention to others, and they may act possessive to keep their partner’s focus solely on them.

This jealousy often stems from their own insecurity and shaky self-esteem.

Is It Healthy to Date a Narcissist

It is not healthy to date a narcissist.

If a narcissist is in a relationship, what they will do is blame the partner for their defects and will most likely become bored with that person, projecting all their emotional confusion onto the partner.

You will find them self-absorbed and self-centered all the time and they expect you to satisfy their needs instantly.

They might fight you if you don’t do what they want, respond to their calls and texts immediately, or do things their way.

At first, they will seem incredibly charming with their charismatic personality.

They will do everything possible to conquer you with their charm. They will make you feel special.

Some narcissists use their partners to satisfy their personal needs, fulfill their ambitions, and cover up their shortcomings.

For example, they may say things like: ‘I can’t wait for you to meet my friends so they’ll be jealous,’ or ‘I can live with my girlfriend rent-free and use her car.’

They see nothing wrong with this, as they lack empathy, and some narcissists even have what we call ‘cognitive empathy’: they understand on an intellectual level how others feel and use this to manipulate them.

How Dating a Narcissist Changes You

Dating a narcissist has significant emotional, psychological, and even physical effects on a person. Here are some ways it can change you:

1. Lower Self-Esteem: Narcissists often belittle and criticize their partners, leading to a decrease in self-esteem and self-worth.

2. Isolation: They will try to isolate you from friends and family, leaving you with fewer people and support networks.

3. Anxiety and Depression: The constant emotional rollercoaster and stress in such a relationship can lead to anxiety and depression.

4. Boundary Issues: You may struggle with setting and maintaining healthy boundaries, as narcissists often disregard them.

5. Trust Issues: After being deceived or betrayed by a narcissist, trusting future partners can become challenging.

6. Emotional Exhaustion: Dealing with a narcissist’s constant need for attention and validation is emotionally draining.

7. Post-Traumatic Stress: In severe cases, the trauma from a narcissistic relationship can lead to symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

8. Difficulty in Future Relationships: It will be hard for you to trust and open up to others in future relationships due to the scars from narcissistic dating.

9. Self-Discovery: Despite the negative effects, some people emerge from narcissistic relationships with a stronger sense of self and a better understanding of their own needs and boundaries.

How Does a Narcissist Show Love

Narcissist shows love in many ways which includes:

1. Gift-giving: They give gifts and make grand gestures, but these acts are often more about showcasing their generosity and ability to provide rather than genuine love.

2. Public Display: Narcissists show affection in public or on social media to create the appearance of a happy relationship, which feeds their need for admiration.

3. Apologies: If they do something hurtful, they will apologize promptly.

But their apologies lack sincerity, and they do not take full responsibility for their actions.

What Words Can Destroy a Narcissist

Words alone are unlikely to “destroy” a narcissist, as they typically have a strong defense mechanism and do not respond well to criticism or confrontation.

Engaging in a power struggle or attempting to hurt a narcissist with words often leads to more conflict.

However, if you need to communicate with a narcissist, it’s best to use assertive communication. Here are some strategies:

1. Stay Calm: Maintain your composure and emotional control during conversations.

Narcissists will try to provoke emotional reactions, so staying calm is the best.

2. Be Clear and Direct: Clearly express your thoughts and feelings without being confrontational.

Use “I” statements to show how their act affects you.

3. Avoid Personal Attacks: Focus on their behavior or actions rather than attacking their character. Avoid name-calling or insults.

4. Stay Objective: Stick to facts and evidence when discussing issues.

Narcissists twist information to suit their narrative.

How Do Narcissists Treat Their Partners

Here is how narcissists treat their partners:

1. Entitlement: They act entitled to their partner’s time, attention, and resources, expecting their needs to always come first.

2. Emotional Manipulation: They use emotional manipulation tactics, such as guilt-tripping or silent treatment, to control their partner’s behavior or elicit a particular response.

3. Lack of Emotional Support: When their partner is going through difficult times, narcissists struggle to provide genuine emotional support, as their focus is primarily on themselves.

4. Conditional Affection: Their love and affection are often conditional upon their partner meeting their demands and expectations.

They withdraw affection as a means of control.

5. Limited Self-Disclosure: Narcissists often reveal little about their vulnerabilities and emotions, making it difficult for their partner to truly connect with them on an emotional level.

How to Date a Narcissistic Woman

You can date a narcissistic woman in the following ways:

1. Validate Feelings: Acknowledge her feelings and emotions, even if you disagree.

Validation can help reduce tension in the relationship.

2. Avoid Appeasing: Don’t go along with unreasonable demands or behaviors just to avoid conflict.

It’s important to stand up for yourself when necessary.

3. Acknowledge Positive Behavior: When she displays positive or considerate behavior, express appreciation and acknowledge it.

Positive reinforcement can encourage more of these actions.

4. Avoid Competitive Dynamics: Narcissistic women create competition in relationships.

Instead of engaging in power struggles, seek compromise and cooperation.

5. Build a Support System: Maintain your support network outside of the relationship.

Having people to confide in provides emotional balance.

Stages of a Narcissistic Relationship

A relationship with a narcissist goes through several phases:

Idealization Stage: In this stage, the narcissist is charming and loving.

He or she gives love and attention and seems to be perfect.

Devaluation phase: After a while, the narcissist starts to behave differently.

The attention, love, and care previously given are replaced by criticism, rejection, and contempt.

Abandonment phase (discard): In this phase, the narcissist will withdraw from the relationship.

He or she will keep aloof and avoid contact.

Repetition phase: the narcissist returns by hoovering you and the relationship starts again.

The love and attention from the first phase are repeated as long as you allow it.

Can You Have a Healthy Relationship With a Female Narcissist

You can’t have a healthy relationship with a female narcissist.

A relationship with a female narcissist can drain you emotionally and mentally.

Female narcissists can be manipulative and unpredictable.

They will try to make you dependent by showering you with compliments and love, and then insult or ignore you.

They will also try to influence you mentally by manipulating you with their words and actions to make you think that you are worthless without them.

Female narcissists tend to be selfish and will often use you to fulfill their own needs, without paying any attention to your needs or feelings.

What is The Cheating Pattern of a Female Narcissist

Here are the cheating patterns of a female narcissist:

1. Serial Cheating: Some female narcissists engage in a pattern of serial cheating, repeating the behavior with different partners over time.

2. Secretiveness: Female narcissists often engage in secretive behavior to conceal their affairs.

This includes lying about their whereabouts, using encrypted communication, or maintaining hidden online profiles.

3. Multiple Sex Partners: Female narcissists seek excitement in their relationships.

They engage in multiple affairs simultaneously, driven by a desire for variety and attention.

4. Blaming Their Partner: Female narcissists blame their partner for their infidelity, shifting responsibility for their actions onto their partner.

What Kind of Person Dates a Narcissist

Here are the kinds of people that date a narcissist:

1. Empathetic and Caring People: People who are highly empathetic and caring are drawn to narcissists because they often present themselves as charming and charismatic.

They may believe they can “fix” or help the narcissist.

2. People with Low Self-Esteem: Individuals with lower self-esteem are more vulnerable to the love-bombing and idealization phase of the narcissistic relationship, where they are showered with attention and compliments.

3. People with Insecure Attachment: Those people with an insecure attachment style are more willing to tolerate or make excuses for the narcissist’s behavior, seeking validation and approval from the relationship.

4. People Who Have a History of Trauma: People who have experienced trauma or abusive relationships in the past are more susceptible to getting involved with narcissists because they do not recognize red flags or may have learned to normalize unhealthy behaviors.

5. People Who Love Excitement: Some people are attracted to the thrill and excitement that can come with narcissistic relationships, at least initially, as narcissists often present themselves as adventurous and charismatic.

6. People Who Have No Knowledge About Narcissism: Many people may not be fully aware of the signs of narcissism or may underestimate the impact of narcissistic behavior until they are deeply involved in the relationship.

What Does a Narcissist Want in a Relationship

Here is what a narcissist wants in a relationship:

1. Attention: Narcissists desire to be the center of attention in the relationship and become upset if their partner’s focus is elsewhere.

2. Control: Narcissists often seek control over their partner’s thoughts, feelings, and actions.

They use manipulation or coercion to maintain this control.

3. Personal Gain: Narcissists enter a relationship with the expectation of personal gain, whether it’s financial, social status, or emotional support.

4. Emotional Supply: Narcissists rely on their partners for a steady supply of emotional support and validation to boost their self-esteem.

5. Perfection: Narcissists want their partners to appear perfect to others, as it reflects positively on them.

This can lead to controlling behavior and unrealistic expectations.

6. No Criticism: Narcissists are highly sensitive to criticism and they become defensive or angry if their partner offers constructive feedback or challenges their viewpoint.

7. Adoration: Narcissists want to be seen as exceptional and expect their partner to constantly praise their accomplishments and talents.

Do Narcissists Cheat in Relationships

Yes, narcissists can and often do cheat in relationships.

Cheating is a manifestation of their self-centered and entitlement-driven behavior.

They can cheat for a long time without you finding out. And if you eventually find out they will blame you for that.

How to End a Relationship With a Narcissist

Here are the ways to end a relationship with a narcissist:

1. Prepare Emotionally: Before taking any action, prepare yourself emotionally.

Recognize that ending a relationship with a narcissist is met with resistance, manipulation, or even anger.

Let your friends, family, or a therapist help you through this process.

2. Plan Your Exit: Plan the logistics of ending the relationship.

This includes finding a safe place to stay, gathering important documents, and having a plan for your belongings.

3. Choose the Right Time and Place: Select a suitable time and place to have the breakup conversation.

Ideally, choose a private, neutral location where you can speak openly without fear of immediate retaliation.

4. Limit Contact: After the breakup, limit contact with the narcissist as much as possible.

Block or restrict communication channels, and do not respond to attempts at manipulation or guilt-tripping.

5. Protect Your Privacy: Change passwords, update privacy settings on social media, and take steps to safeguard your personal information.

Conclusion

In a relationship with a narcissist, you can feel lonely.

The narcissistic partner often shows emotional unavailability.

They have little interest in their partner’s feelings and needs.

They will ignore you, minimize your emotional needs, or even ridicule you.