You can discipline a child without using physical punishment.
Parenting can be challenging, and there’s no one-size-fits-all solution.
However, there are some helpful tips for creating a happier family and keeping things organized at home.
If you’re interested, this article will guide you on how to discipline a child without hitting or yelling.
Read also: How to Stop a Child From Playing Too Much (5 Ways to Handle Them)
Let’s get started now!
1. Behave the way you want them to behave
Children learn from their parents.
If parents have bad habits like being messy, lying, or being late, they can’t expect their children to do the opposite just by telling them.
Kids follow what they see their parents doing, not just what they’re told.
So, if parents want their children to have good behaviors, they should start by showing those behaviors themselves.
2. Distinguish discipline and punishment
The first approach(discipline) aims to help a child develop good long-term behavior, even though it might feel like a punishment.
On the other hand, repression is just a quick fix and doesn’t lead to lasting change.
The important thing is to teach your child self-control and the ability to tell right from wrong.
3. Watch your language
Stop yelling and being rude at home.
Imagine you’re at dinner and you say, “Pass me the bread!”
Consider whether you sounded like a caring parent or a harsh police officer.
Using a kind tone and words is a way to discipline your child without needing to use physical force.
4. Listen to your child and talk to them
To connect with your child, simply ask them what makes them happy with a smile and a calm attitude.
They’ll probably tell you. This is a good way to start.
Pay attention to what they say and talk to them every day.
It’s helpful to share something about yourself too, and this way, you’ll build trust between you and your child.
5. Share your experience with your child
Share your experiences with your child to help them learn.
Even if you’re busy, try to make time for them and use any opportunity to teach them something.
For instance, while driving them to school, explain why it’s important to obey traffic rules.
This is a way to guide your child without using physical punishment or shouting.
6. Reward good behavior
The best way to reward your child is by praising them.
If they usually make a mess while eating and they don’t this time, give them praise.
If they continue doing well, you can teach them to clean up after themselves.
This way, you encourage them to behave the way you want.
Read also: How to Help a Child Who is Being Bullied (5 Easy Things To Do)
7. Set limits
To keep your child safe and teach them without hitting and yelling, you need to set clear rules.
For instance, if your child tries to run into the street, stop them firmly and say, “If you run like that, you could get hurt by a car.”
No need to use physical punishment; just take a moment to explain the consequences.
This way, they understand what they should avoid doing.
8. Impose consistent punishments
Using punishments to teach or discipline is good, but don’t overdo it, and make sure it matches the behavior you want to change.
Remember, if you go too far with punishments, like not allowing your child to leave the house for a whole month, it might make them lose hope and not want to improve their behavior because they’ll think it’s too harsh.
9. Allow your child to set rules
Let the child help you set the rules and punishments.
Although you have the last word, this way you allow everyone to feel part of the family’s decisions and become more committed to them.
It is a basic tool in our guide to disciplining a child without hitting and yelling.
10. Be consistent
It’s important for your child, no matter how old they are, to understand your rules and for you to be consistent with those rules so they aren’t confused.
Even if it’s tempting to ignore bad behavior or skip punishment, it’s not a good idea.
For example, if the rule is no TV during the week, stick to it without exception.
Even if your child throws a tantrum, don’t give in.
If you do, they’ll think tantrums work, and that’s not good for anyone.
11. Give your child options
Letting your child make some choices helps them feel respected, and responsible, and learn to be independent.
For instance, ask them if they want to take a bath before or after dinner.
When they choose, they commit to it, and it can prevent tantrums.
Allowing them to make choices when they’re young helps them learn how to make good decisions as they grow up.
12. Set the rules with a positive attitude
Requesting, “Could you please put the dirty clothes in the hamper?” is more effective than saying, “Don’t leave the clothes on the floor!”
Negative commands like “don’t” can make kids want to challenge you.
However, even when you use a polite tone, it’s important to be firm and consistent in what you ask.
13. Seek help if there are signs of destructive behaviors.
If your child’s behavior goes beyond stubbornness and includes hurting themselves or others, it’s really important to get professional help.
A psychologist can figure out the right steps to take when your child is struggling or showing signs of mental health issues like depression.
They can guide you in the best way to help your child.
Read also: How Do You Introduce a Child to Rules (Easy Things to Do)
10 Tips For Correcting a Child Constructively
These days, when kids make mistakes, parents often release all their built-up stress on them.
This can lead children to become either shy, insecure, and lacking self-confidence, or the opposite, where they become aggressive and rebellious.
Disciplining our children with love and intelligence is an art of continuous learning that, without a doubt, will also allow us to learn and grow as parents.
The idea is to reprimand them constructively.
Here are the tips for correcting a child constructively:
1. Choose the right moment
It’s best to correct your child’s behavior right after they do something you want to correct.
2. Focus on the behavior
Do not generalize, you should talk about the specific problem.
Don’t use phrases like “you always do this” or similar labels.
3. Don’t scare your child
Don’t frighten or threaten your child.
Encourage them to think and reason about their actions.
4. Let your child know the consequences of their actions
Explain that each behavior has an impact, which can sometimes be negative and harm other people.
5. Never compare their behavior
When you correct, focus on the negative actions of your child’s behavior and do not compare them with other children.
6. Avoid insults and yelling
When parents shout at a child, the child might feel like their parents have stopped loving them and that they’re not as good as they thought they were.
7. Always be consistent
It won’t help if you scold your child one day because they mistreat their pet, and the next day you allow them to do it.
8. Listen to your child carefully
Let them explain why they did it.
Asking “Why did you do it?” helps the child understand their behavior and learn from their mistakes.
9. Don’t distance yourself emotionally
Even if you are angry about your child’s behavior and scold them, let them know that you still love them and that they are important to you.
10. Don’t lose your temper
Take a few minutes to relax, breathe deeply, and then talk to your child using a firm but calm tone of voice.
Read also: How to Help Adolescents with Depression (9 Things to Do)
How to Apply Punishments
When disciplining your child, it’s important not to do it out of anger or as a threat.
Punishments should be reasonable, related to the misbehavior, and taught respectfully and lovingly.
Never use it as an outlet for your bad mood.
Take some time to calm down before giving a consequence.
Anger isn’t a good guide. Speak to your child calmly, even if you’re feeling impatient.
If needed, step away briefly.
Give the consequence right after the misbehavior, so your child connects it to what they did wrong.
This helps them understand and act better next time.
After the consequence, explain the expected behavior, and then move forward positively.
Conclusion
You have learned how to discipline a stubborn child without hitting and yelling in this article, don’t be too harsh on your child.
Remember that they are still young and developing.
Any injury you cause while punishing the child may affect his or her development.
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