Watching your beloved child fight depression can be heartbreaking.
When adolescents go through depression, it can be concerning for their parents.
This is because, during adolescence, kids start trying to be more independent and fit in with their peers.
They want to find their own identity and place in their social group, so they tend to avoid anything that makes them feel like a child or dependent on their parents.
This can make parents feel like their children are pulling away from them, which is why they worry.
They want to show others that they are in charge of their lives and, above all, feel that they are in control of their decisions.
Therefore, from puberty onwards, children’s behavior becomes unknown to their parents or guardians.
According to psychologists, a radical change in attitude is expected, but inconsistent mood swings may indicate some psychological condition.
Why do adolescents have depression? How to identify the signs of depression? How to convince them to go to therapy?
You will find the answers to these questions in this article.
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Let’s go now!
What to do when your adolescents have depression:
1. Listen to the adolescent without judging them or trying to modify their behavior.
2. Invite the adolescent to family outings or programs.
3. Remind the adolescents how important they are to their family, friends, and the world.
4. Work on the adolescent’s self-esteem with praise.
5. Provide space when necessary.
6. Show that the adolescent can speak whenever they choose to.
7. Show interest in the adolescent’s personal life, ideas, and plans for the future.
8. Celebrate your adolescent’s achievements, even if they are small.
9. Show support during treatment.
What NOT to do
Depressed people are very sensitive to accusations about their behavior, emotions, and mood.
The words directed at them must be “planned” so as not to cause further harm to their mental health.
Therefore, parents should not:
1. Refer to the adolescent as lazy or dramatic.
2. Refer to depression as “lack of work”.
3. Demand positive attitudes at all times.
4. Push the adolescent beyond their limits.
Invitations to social activities are welcome, but should not be made under pressure.
5. Accuse the adolescent of wanting to attract attention.
6. Refer to psychological treatment as a burden or annoyance for the family.
7. Ignore signs of depression.
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Why Do Adolescents Get Depressed?
According to a survey by the Ministry of Health carried out in 2019, cases of depression in adolescents grew by 115% in three years.
The data were collected from visits to the Unified Health System (SUS), and do not represent the entire portion of individuals in this age group.
In other words, this percentage could be even higher.
But why are adolescents so depressed?
Many factors contribute to the decline in adolescent mental health.
This phase of life is marked by many discoveries and transformations, and can be exhausting in itself.
The hormonal changes experienced by adolescents during this period are capable of producing different moods, impulsive behaviors, aggression, shyness, and sexual desire, among others.
Sometimes it can make them more susceptible to depression, especially if the adolescent already demonstrated an inclination to be negative or anxious as a child.
The experiences of this new phase – dating, friendships, parties, social programs, university entrance exams, increased responsibility, work – can also affect the adolescent’s emotions and negatively impact their mental health.
If the family environment is rigid and full of demands, the probability is even higher.
As adolescents tend to keep everything to themselves, especially boys, they can suffer in silence and feel uncomfortable sensations without being aware of it.
This secretive behavior requires more attention from parents to the mental and emotional state of their children.
Adolescence is also the period in which young people are most open to new experiences, such as sex, parties, use of alcoholic beverages, and illicit substances.
If they don’t receive good guidance, they may not know how to react when faced with the opportunity to try one of them.
Thus, the chances of being involved in a traumatic situation are also greater.
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How to Identify Depression in Adolescence?
It can be tricky at first to find the balance between keeping an eye on your teens and giving them space.
No matter how worried parents or guardians are, they need to respect their children’s right to privacy.
Otherwise, they may end up forming enmity with them and further reducing the opportunities to receive information about their emotional condition.
Some adolescents don’t feel comfortable sharing details of their personal lives with their parents, while others don’t see a problem with it.
Parents should look at adolescents’ personalities and figure out the best way to understand what their emotional needs are.
Behaviors that indicate depression in adolescence are:
1. Lack of interest in social activities, courses, sports, hobbies, or anything that could get the adolescent out of their comfort zone.
2. Social isolation not only from parents and family but from friends as well.
3. Constant fatigue for no apparent reason.
Often, tiredness is interpreted by parents as laziness, but it is possible that children are too tired to complete simple tasks.
4. Prolonged sadness over a long period.
5. Mood changes.
6. Irritability.
7. Not feeling excited about life and having no drive or motivation.
8. Difficulty making decisions, from simple to more complex ones.
9. Drop in school performance (low grades, complaints from teachers, suspensions, involvement in fights).
10. Low self-esteem.
11. Change in eating habits. The adolescent may eat a lot or very little, which shows possible eating disorders.
12. Lack of sleep.
13. Lack of desire to talk or monosyllabic conversations.
14. Anxiety and restlessness.
15. Neglect of personal hygiene.
16. Alcohol and/or drug abuse.
17. Distant and pouty behavior, as if the adolescent is not paying attention to their surroundings.
In the most serious cases, adolescents may have suicidal thoughts and desires.
Suicide is, in fact, the second leading cause of death among young people aged 15 to 29.
If parents see their child becoming more interested in dark topics like celebrity suicides or death, and they start making “jokes” about death or suicide, the parents need to have a conversation with their child about these subjects.
When to Take Them to Therapy?
As soon as parents identify the aforementioned signs of depression, they can contact a psychologist.
Adolescents have a natural reluctance to psychotherapy.
They generally don’t like talking about personal matters with a stranger, especially an adult, and they don’t believe that therapy can help them.
Because adolescents often feel misunderstood by adults, they don’t even try to express their true feelings to them.
Of course, in some cases, the invitation to therapy may be well received.
However, it is unusual not to encounter resistance.
To make it easier for your child to go to therapy, parents can first set up a meeting with the therapist to discuss their approach and express any concerns they have about their adolescent.
Then, they should explain to their child why therapy is important and how it works.
Parents can also emphasize that when people face problems they can’t solve on their own, they turn to professionals for help to start feeling better.
This helps the adolescent feel less embarrassed and not see getting therapy as a sign of weakness.
It’s up to parents to make therapy seem normal.
Sometimes, it might take more than one conversation to convince your child to see a therapist.
Parents can even make deals or agreements with their children to make it happen.
This effort is important because it’s best if the adolescent chooses to go to therapy willingly.
However, this scenario is not always possible.
In more serious cases (attempted or threatened suicide or severe depression), parents must take their child to a doctor and psychologist against their will.
A bad feeling may arise with this decision, but we must remember that it is for the good of the adolescent.
Conclusion
Parents or guardians are important to prevent and combat depression in adolescents.
Young people may not recognize that they are depressed or may not accept their depression.
Patience, understanding, and love are vital to help them understand themselves and take care of their mental health.
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