How to Make a Shy Girl to Open Up (7 Proven Steps)

A shy girl covering her face with her two palms

Many girls struggle with being shy and wish they could be outgoing. 

However, they find it almost impossible to get rid of their shy nature and often take their shyness to extremes.

This can be quite frustrating for a man. 

It can be very difficult to get a girl to come out of her shell and open up, especially if she is naturally shy or introverted.

Not only does this make it challenging to get to know a girl you’re interested in, but it can also lead to a very boring phone conversation or a completely one-sided discussion over dinner. 

Yes, dating a relatively shy girl can make for a long date, not to mention a cautious relationship.

The thing about shy girls is that you have to know how to communicate with them. 

You must treat them with care and act lightly – in word and deed.

Naturally intimidated by new people and social situations, shy girls retreat into silence to maintain their composure and feel a sense of control. 

They act shy for fear of saying the wrong thing or behaving socially inappropriately. 

They want to avoid awkwardness at all costs, so they cleverly eliminate the possibility of looking foolish by saying nothing at all.

In this article, I will share with you how to make a shy girl open up.

Read also: 22 Signs an Older Woman Wants You Physically

Let’s go now! 

1. GO SLOWLY.

If you know your girlfriend is somewhat shy, be patient. 

If you seem forceful or pushy, she will run like the wind.

2. GIVE HER SPACE.

Physical limits are crucial in the early stages of a relationship. 

Don’t put your arm around her or try to hold her hand unless you are sure these are welcome gestures. 

Give her the space she needs to feel comfortable with you before you take a step closer.

3. GO OUT AND HAVE DINNER TOGETHER.

Going to a fancy dinner with her is a great idea. 

When you enjoy delicious food together, it gives you something to talk about, like how much you both like the meal. 

Plus, when you eat together, you won’t feel uncomfortable because there’s lots of food to focus on, so you won’t run out of things to say.

4. BE THE MAN.

Be confident and be yourself. 

Be polite by doing things like pulling out her chair, opening doors, and paying for the meal. 

Walk her to the door at the end of the date. 

When she feels comfortable and respected, she’s more likely to have a good conversation with you.

5. MAKE HER LAUGH.

It’s great for guys to have some funny jokes ready. 

Women adore males who make them laugh. 

Jokes can help start a fun conversation and make her open up to you. 

You can even ask her to tell a joke to make her feel more comfortable and less shy.

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6. KEEP THE CONVERSATION LIVELY.

If you’re out with your shy girlfriend, it’s important to keep the conversation going. 

Ask her questions to learn more about her, share stories, and even make her laugh with funny impressions. 

Avoid letting the conversation get boring. 

If you know she’s shy, come prepared with interesting topics like current events, movies, or even talking about the weather can help keep things interesting.

Don’t talk about politics, it doesn’t go well with women. 

7. GO OUT AND HAVE FUN TOGETHER.

To help a shy girl, try doing things together where you don’t have to talk a lot. 

Go to places like an arcade, do puzzles, watch a movie, or visit places like art galleries or museums.

This way, you can enjoy each other’s company without feeling like you have to constantly talk and be clever. 

It’s a relaxed way to connect.

How Long Does it Take For a Shy Girl to Open Up

It takes at least six weeks for a shy girl to open up to you. So you must be patient.

Here are some factors that can influence the timeline:

Personality: Some girls are naturally more reserved and take longer to open up, while others may be more outgoing and comfortable sharing quickly.

Past Experiences: Previous experiences, both positive and negative, can impact a girl’s willingness to open up. 

If she has had trust issues or been hurt before, it will take more time.

Comfort Level: Feeling safe and comfortable is very important for a girl to open up. 

Building trust and a sense of security can speed up the process.

Read also: How to Date a Girl on a Phone (5 Steps to Follow)

How to Talk to an Extremely Shy Girlfriend

Here’s how to talk to an extremely shy girl:

1 Don’t be too aggressive. When talking to a shy girl, many men tend to be overly aggressive. 

This is because you care about how she feels about you.

Who cares if she likes you or not? 

She won’t like you more if you suffocate her with your conversation and overall existence. 

Breathe, relax, don’t get aggressive because you don’t get what you want.

2 Invest the time. If she is shy, it will take a while for her to relax around you. 

There’s no rush, and if you love her, you’ll invest the time to get to know her and give her time to relax. 

Don’t rush her because it won’t speed anything up, but it will push her away.

3 Don’t assume she’s not interested. Maybe she’s talking to you slowly. 

However, just not at the amount you are used to. 

This doesn’t mean she’s not interested, she’s shy. 

Unless she tells you she’s not interested or says no to you when you ask her, she may be interested.

4 Don’t equate shyness with low self-esteem. She does not think less of herself or has low self-esteem because she is shy. 

Don’t assume she has personal problems just because she’s not outgoing.

She can be just as confident and happy or even more so than someone outgoing. Try not to stereotype her.

5 Approach her alone. This is quite beneficial when figuring out how to approach a shy girl. 

Can you imagine a group of men approaching a girl standing alone? 

I will even get nervous when that happens. 

Is this some form of intimidation technique to scare her into giving out her number? 

If so, stop. Approach her alone. Make her comfortable, don’t overwhelm her.

6 Small talk is good to start with. Begin with a casual conversation. 

Talking about everyday things and making her smile can make her feel at ease. 

Don’t dive into personal topics too quickly. Since she’s shy, it’s best to go easy and gradually build a connection.

Read also: How to Date a Girl With Anxiety (5 Simple Steps)

7 Ask for her phone number. If she’s shy, make use of text and chat. 

If you’ve already met her and got her phone number, send her a text message. 

Texting can make her feel more relaxed because she’s in her familiar space. 

When you meet her in person later, she might feel more comfortable because you’ve already started a conversation through texting.

8 Encourage discussion through thought-provoking questioning. It’s better to ask questions that can’t be answered with just a “yes” or “no.” 

You want her to share more about herself, so ask questions like “why” or “how” to encourage her to talk and give you more insight into her thoughts and experiences. 

This allows you to learn more about her.

9 Have open body language. To show you’re friendly and approachable, pay attention to how you use your body. 

When you like someone, you naturally have open body language. 

This means don’t cross your arms, lean in when she talks, and stand at a comfortable distance. 

It makes her feel at ease with you.

10 Flirt with her a little. Having open body language is great, but keep your hands to yourself until she becomes more comfortable with you.

Then, flirt with her a little, touching her arm, hands, and so on. 

But keep everything to a minimum. If you’re too touchy, she’ll become more defensive.

11 Be consistent. If you like her, it’s important to show your interest and keep trying to connect with her. 

When she’s not interested, it’s best to give space and back off. 

But if you’re getting positive signals and feel a connection, keep talking and flirting with her. 

It takes time and effort to build a connection, so be patient and persistent if you’re feeling a connection with her.

12 Find out if she likes you. Many men can’t tell the difference if a girl is just shy or not interested. 

If she is interested in you, she will respond to questions and engage in conversation. 

If she’s not interested in you, she’ll give you yes or no answers, she’ll generally ignore you, and she may even tell you she’s not interested. 

So if she doesn’t like you, you should leave her and find another girl.

13 Be patient. If you want to get anywhere with a shy girl, you must be patient. It’s the only way. 

Don’t put any deadline on this, it may not happen anytime soon. 

If you want to be in a relationship with her, take your time getting to know her.

Conclusion 

Now that you know how to talk to a shy girl and make her open up, don’t assume she doesn’t like you. 

You need to give her time to relax and feel comfortable with you.

Read also: How to Date a Girl With Trust Issues (6 Proven Ways)