Do you want to know what breaks most marriages? Adultery is what breaks most marriages.
Dan was my childhood friend. We played together in the neighbourhood when we were kids.
Dan got married five years ago to the love of her life, Evelyn.
Six months into the marriage, Dan caught Evelyn having sex on their matrimonial bed with her secret lover.
Dan could not believe it. And he filed for divorce. It was a heartbreaking moment for him.
In this article, I will share with you the secrets behind divorce.
Read also: What Month Do Most Divorces Occur (And Why It Is So)
Let’s go on now.
What Is The Hardest Stage Of Divorce
Denial is the hardest stage of divorce.
Thi happens within the first two months after divorce.
You start to question everything. Why did you choose to marry him/her one day? What is your life’s purpose?
You begin to sink into a sense of guilt, defeat, self-accusations, self-contempt and general apathy.
The convulsive crying increases and the desire to disappear is unbearable.
Anguish and fear are constant companions at this stage and the idea of meeting someone else is an unpalatable medicine at that time, because everything reminds you of your ex, the places, the music, a smell, in short, everything.
This can be a time of much personal growth and building a more meaningful life. It will depend on the choices you make.
This is a very stressful and painful phase for the people involved in the relationship, you, your ex and even the children, if you had children.
What Is The Best Age To Marry To Avoid Divorce
The best age to marry to avoid divorce is
between 28 and 32 years.
At this stage people are old enough to understand if they really want to live with someone.
They have already made significant life choices and assumed some responsibilities, being financially able to support a partner in case of need.
They probably also don’t have ex-spouses or children with whom they have to share their time, resources, and loyalty.
All these factors add up to a more lasting union.
People who marry before age 28 have the greater chance of divorce.
This is because they may not know what they want in a partner.
They mainly live their lives based on physical things alone.
Marriage is not about physical appearance, it is about compatibility and knowing what your goals and desires are.
How Do You End A Marriage Peacefully
Here are the five ways to end a marriage peacefully:
1. Be sure of your option: Before making any decision, consider the pros and cons of your action. This will help you to make good decisions.
Talk to family and friends, ask for advice and try to consider all alternatives.
Finally, it is important not to have doubts about the end of the relationship.
2. Don’t break up through social media: Talk to your husband or wife in person.
Under no circumstances should you choose to end a marriage via WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram or any other social network!
Telling your partner that you want a divorce through social media is disrespectful.
It means that you don’t regard them, and he/she will not be happy with you.
3. Consider the good moments of the relationship: As much as you are disappointed with your partner, try to remember the good moments you shared together
This will help you not to use harsh words. Remember that even though the end may have been caused by difficult situations, you were very happy at other times.
4. Be honest and brief: Don’t beat around the bush, and don’t make excuses.
Speak the truth and explain your feelings to your partner, even though it is not easy to admit certain things.
5. Preserve your privacy: Choose a discreet and private place for this moment.
Don’t decide to end up in public places like a restaurant for example.
This may turn into an embarrassment for your partner and make the situation even more delicate and difficult.
You can do this in your house if you are still living together. If you’re already separated, you can do it in an empty park.
6. Don’t remind them about their bad habits: This is not the time for blaming your partner for everything.
Blaming them or telling them about their bad habits at this moment is going to change their emotions. And there will be no peace if this happens.
How Long Does The Average Marriage Last
The average time between the date of marriage and the date of the divorce in 2009 was 17.5 years.
In the following decade, in 2019, there was a decrease in the duration of marriage to 13.8 years, that is, about four years less.
Nearly half of the marriages that ended in 2019 lasted less than 10 years.
Between 10 and 14 years of duration were 14.2%.
Already in 18.3% of divorces, the marriage had lasted 26 years or more, that is, they had exceeded 25 years, a stage known as silver wedding.
According to a study by IBGE, men divorced at older ages than women. In 2019, on the date of divorce, men were, on average, 43 years old, while women were 40 years old.
What Percentage Of Couples Get Back Together After Divorce
The percentage of couples that get back together after divorce is 37%.
37% of couples get back together after the first breakup, but only 12% succeed in cementing their relationship.
Thus, a few months after the divorce, several couples get back together again .
A study reveals that the remarriages of divorcees have increased slightly since 1970.
This actually proves that after a divorce many people are really unable to get rid of the influence of their ex spouse.
To separate from a person with whom we have shared good times, would not necessarily mean that we no longer love them.
There are indeed several events that can lead you to make such a decision.
If, despite the judge’s intervention, you still decide to continue with divorce and love takes over after the divorce, you really won’t have a choice.
You will definitely get back together with your spouse.
By feeling the absence of your ex-spouse (especially if he/she feels the same way), remarrying becomes inevitable.
Sometimes, you will feel as if the love you have for your ex spouse has only increased with divorce.
What Is Second Marriage Called
Second marriage is called remarriage. It is the marriage that takes place after the end of the previous one.
A second marriage should be seen as a new opportunity to be happy.
The memories of the past are left behind and you can relive the emotion of being a bride groom/ bride.
The second wedding should be organized as if it were the first, after all you may be getting married for the second time, but not with that person now.
It’s not because you’re having a second wedding that you’re going to give up the printed invitation.
The invitations for the second wedding must be headed by the bride and groom themselves. You can, if you want, include the name of the parents.
You can take the opportunity to do something more informal and personalized.
Regardless of the style and size of the party, having this invitation record is important.
In the invitation, the bride and groom must include, at the end, the current address of each one or, if they already live together, the address of both.
Why Get Married In Your 60s
Nowadays, age is no longer a barrier to being able to get married.
Seniors can find each other and choose to unite in a marriage that can be just as beautiful as that of a young couple. Love is limitless and ageless.
Marriage after 60 can be very beneficial for a couple.
Indeed, it allows you to enjoy the love and the company of each other. It is also an opportunity to create memories and new projects.
However, marriage after 60 can also have some disadvantages.
Indeed, seniors often have children and grandchildren who may be worried about seeing their grandparents get married.
Moreover, the marriage can also lead to tensions with the ex-spouse.
When you are over 60, marriage is often easier and faster to organize.
Indeed, seniors have often lived through previous marriages and are more mature.
A wedding after 60 can be as rich in emotions and surprises as that of a young couple.
One of the main differences is that the guests are older and there are generally fewer people at the ceremony.
Who Is Happier After A Divorce
Women are happier after divorce.
A study reveals that after divorce, women are happy and do not wish to engage in a new relationship. Unlike men who live less well this period.
A study carried out for Style magazine (The Times) with 1,060 divorced women and men indicates that women are doing better and stronger.
Contrary to popular belief, women say they are delighted with their new celibacy and intend to take advantage of it. 53% of women feel “much happier” after divorce compared to 32% of men.
61% of divorced women want to remain single compared to 47% of men.
Practically, 17% of men retain romantic feelings for their ex (against 7% of women) but engage more quickly in a new relationship.
However, the more women who have been divorced for a long time, they are twice as likely as men to say that they are not looking for a new relationship. (45% versus 21%).
Conclusion
Divorce is not easy to pass through. You need patience to always make the right choice.
If you feel that you can’t continue with your marriage due to unresolved issues, you can do whatever good thing that you want to do.