Do you want to know what to do when your marriage is beyond repair?
Marriage that is beyond repair is the point that no couple wants to reach, and that is why it is difficult to recognize it.
However, there are some aspects that should not be overlooked to end a relationship.
It is difficult to recognize that a marriage no longer has a solution.
Sometimes there are ways and formulas that can save you.
However, there are times when it is best to accept reality, however hard it may be, and move forward on different paths.
About 50% of couples who get married for the first time end up divorced, according to divorce statistics.
The reasons can be varied, from financial problems to sexual incompatibilities. But the ending is the same.
In this article, I will share with you what to do when your marriage is beyond repair.
Read also: How To Know When Your Marriage Is Beyond Repair (The Sure Signs)
Let’s go on now.
What to do when your marriage is beyond repair is separation or divorce.
How To Separately Legally
In a legal separation, you are separated, but you remain legally married.
In the past, most people chose this because of their religious beliefs.
They wanted to separate, but were not allowed to part with the faith.
Nowadays people have more practical reasons for separating from their partner, such as the financial situation or if cohabitation is no longer possible.
How does a legal separation work?
You need a lawyer. This means, among other things, that you must draw up a parenting plan if you have minor children.
Do not underestimate drawing up agreements about the division of property, assets, the home, alimony and drawing up the parenting plan.
Although you will still be legally married, the process you will have to go through will be the same as for a regular divorce.
Read also: How Do You Tell Children You Are Getting A Divorce (3 Easy Strategies)
Financial consequences of legal separation
After the legal separation you are financially separated.
That is why you can agree on spousal maintenance, just like with a normal divorce.
When you are separated from your partner, you divide your retirement pension.
You do not divide the survivor’s pension because you are still officially married.
Effects of separation
The basic effects of separation are:
1. Life together is suspended.
2. The possibility of linking assets to the other spouse ceases.
3. The presumption of paternity ceases.
4. Inheritance rights are lost only with the filing of the lawsuit.
5. There is the possibility of reconciliation.
How do I request a divorce?
You apply for a divorce with a petition. You send this petition to the court via your lawyer.
You also do this for a legal separation. And also for dissolution of the marriage after a legal separation.
Apply for divorce
If you want a divorce, you need a lawyer. Your lawyer will discuss with you what you need to arrange and how.
To get a divorce, you start a court procedure. For this you need a petition that you draw up together with your lawyer.
Your lawyer files the divorce petition with the court.
File for divorce together
If you are filing for divorce together, one lawyer is enough.
Have you and your partner agreed on the divorce? Then you can submit the request for divorce together.
You may also do this alone. In that case, your partner will inform the court that he/she agrees with you.
Read also: How Is Real Estate Divided During A Divorce (The Easy Way Out)
When only you is applying for a divorce
You and your partner may not agree on the divorce. In this case, you both need your own lawyer.
One partner then submits a unilateral petition with a lawyer.
The other partner, together with a lawyer, can object to the petition with a statement of defence.
Ancillary facility: Appointment in the event of a divorce
You can request an ancillary provision in the petition.
This is an agreement that has to do with the divorce. For example, about how to deal with the children.
Temporary agreements if divorce lasts longer
Divorce proceedings can take longer if you cannot agree together.
The judge can therefore also make temporary decisions. For example, about who will continue to live in the house and with whom the children will live with.
Such a temporary decision is called a preliminary injunction.
Divorce final
You will receive a decision from the court on the request for divorce.
At this time, the divorce is not yet final.
The judge’s decision must be entered in the matrimonial property register of the registry office .
Your lawyer or your partner’s lawyer will arrange this. This must be done within 6 months. Only then is the divorce final.
This also applies to a dissolution of the marriage after legal separation.
Read also: Does Divorce Cost Money (You Need To Know This)
Request a copy of the divorce decree
You and your ex-partner or your children can request a copy of the divorce decree.
You can request this from the court that granted the divorce.
How do I tell my partner I want a divorce?
Here are how to tell your partner that you want a divorce:
1. The divorce notice
It is best to tell your partner in a verbal conversation that you want a divorce.
This conversation is called the divorce notice.
So don’t make a phone call or conversation by computer, don’t send an SMS or e-mail and don’t leave a letter.
2. Prepare for this conversation
Prepare well for this conversation.
Think ahead of time what you want to say and what your partner might say back.
Read also: Best Conversation Strategies For Couples
3. Make sure you have a quiet moment and sit opposite each other
Provide a quiet moment for the two of you, where no others are present.
It is important that you can look at each other. This seems obvious, but in practice it often turns out not to happen.
4. Start immediately with the message that you want a divorce.
Then give your partner the opportunity to respond or ask questions.
If your partner wants to know why you want to divorce, explain what you hope to achieve.
Explain what you expect will change and improve as a result of the divorce. Describe this in positive words.
5. Don’t criticize (the other person or the relationship) at this point, but explain why it’s better for you to break up than to stay together.
6. Do not expect your partner to immediately understand or show understanding.
The announcement that you want to divorce can be a ‘bolt from the blue’ for your partner, even if you have already had many discussions or arguments, in which the word ‘divorce’ may have already been used.
Conclusion
Marriage is not easy, many couples face communication issues and stress, or get distracted by social media or busy lives.
Despite a strong foundation of love and respect, it can be difficult for a couple to repair conflicts.
And the best solution at this moment may be separation or divorce.